So, imagine if you will, that you had the opportunity to see the design plans for Man’s creation and in it is a list of all the materials used to make us.  Imagine it said that we are all consciousness composed of qualities like kindness, infallibility, liveliness, trustworthiness, innocence, liberty, and fearlessness, to name but a few.  (Click here for a list of more of Gods Qualities)

Imagine that the purpose of all these qualities hard wires our nature for connection to one another through a sense of Love and belonging.  And, imagine that each and every one of us is absolutely hard wired to God, The Universe, Love, Truth, Life, Principle, Soul, Spirit and Mind – the Source of the qualities mentioned above (kindness, infallibility, liveliness, etc.), without which we would not be able to express them.

Like the examples of the toaster and car being used for purposes other than what they were created, we suffer consequences when we separate ourselves from the purpose for which we were created:  To express the qualities and characteristics of our Source to each other through Love and belonging.

Say Neighbor A has a big maple tree in their yard and its branches are hanging over their next door neighbor’s property causing branch and leaf debris on the lawn of Neighbor B.  Neighbor B asks Neighbor A to cut the tree back off their property and assume the expense.  Neighbor A responds with an unequivocal NO and suggests that Neighbor B go ahead and cut back the branches that are hanging over their property themselves.

If either Neighbor A or B (or both) sees the other as unreasonable, stubborn, willful, etc., then what do you suppose the outcome of the discussion will be?

Not only have they objectified an individual in order to self-justify their position, but they have also erroneously characterized that person as one dimensional forgetting for the time being that both possess many qualities that are being ignored if not forgotten in this heated moment.  The consequences:  Conflict.

Now how do they get themselves out of this?  The answer is in re-membering those qualities that derive from the Source, the ones we’re made of and seeing each other that way.  What if either one of the neighbors saw the other as fair and reasonable?  They would be seeing their neighbor as a person expressing qualities of Principle and Mind, rather than an object presenting a barrier to their goal.  In this way, can the neighbor(s) maintain clarity and peace about the principle of the matter, i.e., solving the problem of the tree.

The next time you’re in conflict, try seeing the other individual’s God-given qualities and work to solve your conflict from there.  If you can maintain holding the person in your consciousness in this way, I guarantee you will have a harmonious outcome.

Even so, the slump was lasting WAY too long in my opinion and something had to shift.  But, part of the problem was that I needed to let go of something I desired but was not good for me – spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.  Intellectually, I knew it would be in my best interest to let go, but emotionally I clung obsessively to this idea to the point where it was affecting my inner world.

I was so far down the rabbit hole that I had no clue how to get out.  Imagine with me for a moment me tunneling down so deeply that the walls of the tunnel were closing in on me and I could no longer move forward, nor back up.  Now that’s stuck!

Again, intellectually I knew I needed a change of perspective, after all, that’s one of my jobs as a coach – to help my clients get “unstuck” by having them explore different perspectives on the topic of their life they’re finding challenging.  But I yearned to know, how this change of perspective was going to come.

Enter the Universe, God, divine Mind, Spirit, Soul, Principle, Life, Truth, Love -  the seven synonyms I know for God as taught through my faith, Christian Science  – with an angel message through my NIA teacher, dear precious Roberta Mohler.

The class took place on the first day of spring, and in celebration of that, Roberta brought these lovely cards she had recently purchased on a retreat.  She invited her students to pick a Letting Go card.  “Humph!  I exclaimed while exhaling deeply from the diaphragm, “That’s what I need!” I felt like a glimmer of hope had zeroed in and was shining right on this thing that’s been getting me down.  I knew I had to let go of this thing, but I wasn’t ready to release it, so I asked God to show me through the card how to want to let go of this thing I had a tight grasp on.

That card I picked up was:

RECEIVING JOYFULLY

 What a gift!  Those two powerful words showed me that I could let go because at its essence was the desire to receive.  I was able to release the form I clung to, in the hope of receiving a higher form or expression of it.  More importantly, I began to see that if I didn’t let go, my hand was closed to receiving anything else.  In that moment, I simply loosened my grasp and it flew out of my hand like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon.

Every morning since then, I have started my day with the expectancy of good, the expectancy of joyfully receiving whatever came into my day by being prepared to receive all with gratitude.  Sometimes it’s as simple as receiving the words in a sentence I’m writing.  Other times it is being truly moved by the incredible people who cross my path.  No matter how small or large the gift is, I wait expectantly with no outline of what it will be.  And, at night before I fall asleep, I review the gifts I received that and express my gratitude for them.  What a sacred experience.

Oh, and just the other day, I received a gift worth thousands of dollars!  Honestly, I don’t know that I would have given myself permission to receive such a huge gift, but you know what?  With no hesitation, and heaps of gratitude, I accepted that gift joyfully!

Will you practice receiving joyfully?

The only ones who fear failure are those who have never tasted it.

Wow, I thought, that’s a really interesting perspective on failure.  My first thought was, yeah, failure doesn’t taste that bad, so the fear of it is worse than the actual experience of it.

But, then that got me to thinking about the acronym for fear that I’ve seen referenced over the years:

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

And it also got me to thinking about the statistic I first heard quoted by famed author, motivational speaker and professor, Leo Buscaglia: 90% of what we worry about never materializes.

So, I began to question:  What happens when we see fear as the foundation of our decisions?  I began to see that decisions that bring about pain and suffering in our lives, are decisions based on fear.  Since fear is false evidence appearing real, then this false sense is only entertained mentally.

That bears repeating.  The thing we fear happening is not actually real; it is only mentally entertained.

It is not until we make a decision based on that false image that it becomes reality, an image of thought externalized, or manifested in our life.  So, whatever thought is cultivated from this standpoint – of fear as the foundation – is imaged forth in the circumstances our lives.

That’s a pretty stunning realization!  What this means is that we have it within us to change the circumstances of our lives to the extent that we change what we spend our time thinking about.  The thing we fear can be destroyed by understanding that what we fear is an illusion mentally entertained.

Okay, so some of you are saying, “Wait a minute!  I had an experience in my past that caused me pain and suffering and so my fear is founded on that real experience.  You can’t tell me it wasn’t real!  I understand that’s irrefutable.  And, what about all the times before that painful experience that you made the decision you did without any suffering, or others who have made decisions that didn’t have painful outcomes?  There is proof that if you do it again there is nothing to fear.

The past is the past and does not indicate what is going to happen in the present except if we cultivate a fearful outcome in our thoughts to the extent that it manifests.

Until we see that fear is the enemy, we will not carve out happy and expansive lives.  Fear is the enemy and recognizing, stopping and eliminating false images from occupying our thoughts is the Truth that will destroy it.

I challenge you to practice – even for a single moment – awareness of how fear is creeping into your thinking and to stop it and eliminate it.  Then notice how your thoughts no longer utter any complaints, and you will feel the unspeakable peace which comes.

According to Amazing Health Trivia (AHT):

Some experts estimate that the human brain can have up to 60,000 thoughts per day.  So, if we shift our brains into the highest gear, it would mean our minds are wandering at a dizzying speed of 2500 TPH (Thoughts Per Hour).

That’s 42 Thoughts per Minute!

Probably more important than mere quantity of thoughts is the quality of thoughts we have on a daily basis.  The quality of our thoughts is said to impact many parts of our life. Everything from our stress levels and general health to the progress we make in our professional lives and relationships.

While I addressed the quality of our thoughts in last week’s blog, what struck me about AHT’s blog, was the capacity of our thoughts.  Let me use a metaphor describe what I’m thinking about.

Have you ever heard professional organizers talk about clutter in a home?  They tell us that in order to bring new things into your space, you need to clear out the clutter and make room for the new stuff.

Well, that got me thinking that if I have 42 thoughts per minute, how much of that thought is repetitive, noisy, self-serving, clamoring for attention, and therefore, disorderly and possibly even distorting?!  If this is the case, how, then, is there any space for me to receive new ideas and inspiration so that I can consciously steer my life in the direction I want it to go?!

Have you ever heard the phrase “listen to the still small voice within”?  Well, when I started paying attention to my thoughts, I realized how unconscious I am to many of them.  I have been thinking incessantly for so long, that it’s like breathing — I’m rarely conscious of a them — so how can I listen to the still small voice when all this loud clatter is going on in my head!

I realized I need to let go of this thought clatter/clutter in order to hear the wisdom and inspiration from the Universe.  Unless we become acutely aware of these thoughts and finally release them, there’s literally no space for new ones.

So, becoming aware that we have all these random, superfluous thoughts is the first part of the process to hearing the still small voice.  The next step is to consciously listen to the stillness; that’s where the wisdom and inspiration emerges from – beyond our minds and into the divine Mind.

What?!  You might be asking.  How do I do that?  Well Eckhart Tolle author of Stillness Speaks states that:

The equivalent of external noise is the inner noise of thinking.  The equivalent of external silence is inner stillness.  Whenever there is some silence around you – listen to it.  That means just notice it.  Pay attention to it.  Listening to silence awakens the dimension of stillness within yourself, because it is only through stillness that you can be aware of silence.  See that in the moment of noticing the silence around you, you are not thinking.  You are aware, but not thinking.

I thought, “Piece of cake!  I can do this!”  Ha!  It’s not as easy as you think!  I tried it while going to sleep.  It’s amazing how quickly my “little” mind took over and started thinking about all kinds of arbitrary things.  Every time I noticed this happening, I brought my awareness back to the stillness.  I did fall asleep, and when I awoke in the night, I noticed how easily I slipped back into the old routine of random thoughts, so I would repeat the process of listening to the stillness.  I just had to begin again.

What I realized was twofold:

1)    I found a great sense of peace as I listened to the stillness

2)    I recognized how much noise my mind is accustomed to making with so much superfluous thinking.

While I realize this exercise will require a great deal of patience and perseverance, I am committed to transforming my consciousness so that I can listen to the still small voice within.

Will you join me?

In the case of a sculptor, she turns from the clay to her model in order to perfect her conception.  We are all sculptors working at a variety of forms – relationships, careers, finances, health, recreation, home and personal development – carving and shaping thought.

Conceptual models represent human intentions.  They are used to help us know and understand the subject matter they represent and are the necessary means humans employ to think and solve problems.  Left to the unconscious, though, they can actually create the very problems we wish to avoid.

What is the predominant model in your thought?  Is it lack, limitation, not enough, poor health, suffering, not deserving?  Have you accepted the model of the status quo?  The model that says:  You can’t have that.  You don’t deserve that.  You’re not educated enough.  That’s just the way it is. More is better.  That’s not enough.  My body is weak.  I’m not strong enough.  At first glance, you may think you don’t think like this.  But, I urge you to really examine and notice your thoughts.  These negative thought models can be subtle and insidious and more prevalent in our thoughts than we are conscious of.

Do you realize that when you play these thoughts over and over again in your mind that you are actually reproducing this vicious and harmful model?

This is the model of the status quo which is being held before our gaze continually, and, it is designed to keep us down.  The result is that it brings into our experience the very opposite of what we dream about manifesting in our lives.  These poor models of thought present to us a life that is mediocre, routine, lack-lustre, unhealthy, full of fear, unfulfilling.

What can we do to change this?  We must change your ideals in order to improve our models.  In other words, we must raise the standard of our thoughts.  An unfulfilled life is evolved from unfulfilling thoughts.  Not carrying out or bringing to completion our ambition or abilities proceeds from fear.  So, too, does fear manipulate us into burying our unique and authentic expression deep within.  This fear is educated in our minds by the thoughts ever recurring to ourselves, by conversations with others, and by the expectation of perpetual pain from it.  If this type of thinking is habitual in our minds, then we will never bring to life our true selves and live fulfilling lives.

The antidote is to turn our thoughts in the direction to which fulfillment lies and then walk that way.  We must form fulfilling models in thought and look at them continually  in order to carve out truly satisfying lives.

We are well rehearsed at what doesn’t work, or what’s wrong, or what’s broken in us!  It’s time to give ourselves permission to let what’s good about us, what light’s us up, what’s healthy and whole and loving about us to steer our ship, and all the negative will diminish and finally be a whisper rather than a roar.

Models that reflect higher conceptions of being – conceptions of happiness, health, and loveliness – transcend the negative, are enduring, put us on the course we truly desire, and produce the positive results that come from walking that path.

When you focus your thoughts on one thought model, you cannot focus on the other.  It’s either one or the other.  Think of it this way, darkness and light cannot both exist in the same space at the same time.  When you switch on a light in a dark room, the darkness disappears.

Are you ready to make the commitment to yourself to choose a higher standard in your thoughts today?  It may not be easy at first, because it takes effort, consistency, perseverance and commitment to change your thoughts, but the payoff is worth it.

I have been accused – numerous times in my life – of being Polyanna.  For those of you who don’t know Polyanna, she is a character from an American novel published in 1913 by Eleanor Hodgman Porter entitled Polyanna.  It’s about a child heroine who finds cause for gladness in the most difficult situations.

If you look Polyanna up in dictionary.com, it states:  an excessively or blindly optimistic person; unreasonably or illogically optimistic.  Implicit in this definition is the accusation that optimism in this form is at best naïve and at worst unrealistic.

Intentionally, I don’t watch or listen to the news or read newspapers because I believe they are inherently negative and sensationalist; news of murder, corruption, diseases, and natural disasters.  The thing I find terrifying about this is that people believe that this is the accurate ratio of negative/positive in the world!

My positive outlook does not mean I have my head in the clouds and don’t have a clue as to what’s going on in the world, my country, my city or my neighborhood.  In fact, I have a keen sense of what’s going on because I listen to what’s happening around me, not just with my ears, but with my intuition, my heart and my soul.

I have always felt that my outlook on life is rare.  It’s downright lonely sometimes because so many people I come into contact with murmur and complain about something.  Quite frankly, I shut down when in the presence of negative talk because I believe that what we speak creates our reality and I do NOT want a reality riddled with negativity, victimization and hopelessness.

Imagine my delight when my client forwarded me a video link of Positive Psychologist, Shawn Achor giving a TEDxBloomington Talk discussing empirical evidence that positivity creates lasting positive change.  To view his TEDTalk, click here.

Achor posits “if we study what is merely average, we will remain merely average”.  When I heard him state this, I exclaimed:  YES!

My mission in life as a coach is to help my clients realize that beyond the lies of the status quo – the merely average – exists a vast universe of possibility which is available to all of us, and, that making choices from this possibility we can significantly alter our lives and create positive lasting change.

Achor explains that “[It’s] the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. And if we can change the lens, not only can we change your happiness, we can change every single educational and business outcome at the same time.”  He goes on to explain that 90% of our long-term happiness is not predicted by the external world, but how our brain processes the world.  If we change our formula for success, then, he says, we can change our reality.

As a result of my rare and excessive optimism, I am happy 90% of the time and I quite enjoy this view of reality.  Will you join me?  Try these 5 activities 2 minutes a day for 21 days if you want to make lasting positive change in your life:

1. 3 Gratitudes – find 3 things to be grateful for today
2. Journalling – write about one positive experience you’ve had over the past 24 hours
3. Exercise – this teaches you that behavior matters as you feel the effects of exercise on your mind, body, soul
4. Meditation – learn to clear your mind and focus on one thing and one thing well
5. Random (or Conscious) Acts of Kindness – send one positive email to someone in your social support network giving them praise or thanks

Join the Revolution in Positive Change today!

Well, most of that happened but not in the conventional way you would think.

First let me explain that the Fish Ranch is a retreat; it is used for one-on-one retreats (like the one I experienced), or it can be used for group retreats (like 10 members of my leadership tribe conducted last September).  It provides the expected – transportation to and from the airport, food, lodging, and consulting services.

And, it provides the unexpected – Possibilities and Poetic Magic.

Inspiration abounds on Oldham Pond.  When you step foot into the Fish Ranch, you immediately find Oldham Pond framed by a huge picture window with an unobstructed view.  As if that is not enough, you will, at some point during the day, inevitably be graced by a beautiful couple that swim in possibilities on the pond.  They are Swans who inspire grace and beauty on many levels.

In fact, in Native American traditions, Swan wisdom includes awakening the power of self, balance, grace, inner beauty, innocence, self-esteem, understanding dream symbols, seeing into the future, understanding spiritual evolution, developing intuitive abilities, divination, grace in dealing with others and commitment.

With Swan wisdom as inspiration for my work at the Fish Ranch, the possibilities were endless and magic was in the air!  But, the poetry added a delightful and expansive element to the business planning process.  Who would have thought business meets poetry!

Yes, of course!  The Chief Enjoyment Officer, that’s who!   Carolyn and her soul dusting partner, Dan Buchner, just launched their new venture the same weekend I was at the Fish Ranch for my business planning, and in a spark of inspiration, Carolyn decided to apply The Poet’s Way to our work together.

What a gift.

I embraced myself.  I became clear, fully accepted and outlined my stake in this world – who I am and what I want for others.  I determined the platform upon which my stake is firmly based.  I began writing an overview of this including my brand attributes, values and proposition.  I have determined my main target markets, outcomes and impact for my work.  I have determined what resources I need, who I want to be my allies and advisors in this endeavor.  I have discovered what new programs and services I want to develop.  I have learned a system for prioritizing how to handle all the particles and spaces of my time.  And, I have included myself and my family in my business plan as integral aspects of growing and aligning my business practice with my personal life.

My Fish Ranch Think Tank experience was definitely worth its weight in gold and I would highly recommend it to anyone who is contemplating hiring a consultant for business planning!

I don’t think of myself as a poet, but my experience of The Poet’s Way enabled me to remove the dust from my soul increasing my self-awareness, bringing a deeper connection with myself and my mission in life in a way that brings it alive in my business.  This poem I wrote during my stay at the Fish Ranch is a glimpse of what I continue to practice for myself and what I want for my clients:

Standing still in the warmth of the sun

It penetrates my innocence

Awakening me to the wonder of who I am

Leaving no question of my identity or my belonging.

-  Sharon Leman, Fish Ranch © February, 2012

On this day, I thought rather than add to the concept of romantic love, I’d be a champion for True Love.

I believe that what all of us truly want is to be loved and to feel a sense of belonging.  So why do we hurt each other and experience feelings of worthlessness and shame and rejection?  Where does that behavior stem from?

I think about the Golden Rule:  Do unto others as you would have done unto you.  If we are treating each other unkindly, and this rule is true, then we must be treating ourselves unkindly as well.  When we search for solutions to these unloving feelings, the golden rule points us to look within not without.

The internal exploration can seem daunting to many people because they’ve been working hard to bury the hurt and lack they feel deep within.  In my opinion and experience, the treasure of who we are is also buried right alongside the hurt.

I believe that at our core is Love.  In a world that constantly reminds us of the lovelessness that abounds, I believe we must have the courage to deeply explore the question:  Who am I?  And then find acceptance with whatever we discover – warts and all.  Then, we must practice loving ourselves unconditionally.  And when we do, we will be able to practice loving others as ourselves.  Some of them will, in turn, Love us as their selves, and we’ll experience a sense of belonging and unconditional true Love.

In 2010, I took a Leadership course.  The journey lasted 10 months and was experienced with 17 others.  All but one of these individuals was a stranger to me, but after only a couple of days in retreat with them, a deep bond was forged, a sense of Oneness was felt … and we created it.  Quite simply:  I was enchanted.

Now, one definition of enchant is to cast a spell on or bewitch.  To me, that wreaks of illusion and manipulation.  But, another definition is to delight to a high degree.  And, in fact, some synonyms for enchant are fascinate, attract; captivate, and enrapture.  These qualities are fragrant with Soulfulness and my soul was fascinated, attracted, captivated and enraptured by 18 human beings (including myself)  who were willing to be vulnerable, expose the most precious parts of ourselves (warts and all), and to be transparent in a way that we had never given ourselves permission to before.

I believe what we created was the mystical power of intimate relationships.  Some of us admitted to never having been this intimate even with our spouses and significant others!  It was out of an unfailing commitment to our individual selves as Co-active® leaders – to recognize and embrace our deepest strengths and learn how to bring that authentic power of self expression into all areas of our lives – that we created the spiritual, mental, emotional and physical conditions necessary to invoke the enchantment that I felt, that we all felt.

So, what’s so important about enchantment you might be asking?  Well, enchantment is not merely an emotional state, something pink and fuzzy.  No, it is ultimately substantial and real.  The mystical realm is a realm that, when acknowledged, can open us up to a consciousness in which normal limitations disappear.  It is a realm where our consciousness shifts into a different set of possibilities from the ones now defining our “normal” experience.

Many people induce this state of consciousness through the use of drugs, but as Marianne Williamson so aptly put it in her book Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships, when we open our hearts to ourselves and others in delicious vulnerability – like “when we fall in love with a mate, a child, or even an idea – a spontaneous enchantment occurs, a blessing that is ours for as long as we are capable of holding onto it.”

Marianne goes on to say:  “If we want enchantment in our daily lives, we must cultivate its spiritual conditions.  We must learn to give and to receive, to appreciate joy and give it to others, to see the magic in ordinary things, and seize the moment like the key to love that it is.”

So, today, I urge you to look at the ordinary things you see in your daily walk.  Really, stop and notice them.  Look for the magic; any mysterious or extraordinary quality or power that might be lurking there that you’ve never noticed before.  Look at the birds, or the squirrels, or your child, or your mate, and be really curious about them, dropping all your pre-conceived knowledge of them.  You just might be delighted by what you see.

Regardless of whether or not you believe in astrology, the dragon energy is quite inspiring, don’t you agree?  Truthfully, it doesn’t matter if you were born in the year of the dragon or not.  What matters is whether or not you believe you have access to this energy.  It’s all just a matter of perspective and allowing.

What do you allow in your thinking?  Do you give yourself permission to imagine a life where you are innovative and enterprising?  Self-assured and brave?  Passionate and free-spirited?  Or, do you limit your thoughts about yourself to I don’t know enough, I don’t have what it takes, that’s only possible for others not me, and on and on the list can go.

Let’s turn that around shall we?  The above mental list is one we all go through in our heads time and again.  It is posted on the wall in the land of the saboteur – that aggressive mental suggestion that keeps us from embracing who we truly are, the one that keeps us small.  So, let’s create a list to replace or counter the one that keeps a lid on us.

Make a list of words that really appeal to you, words that if you were reading something would really jump off the page at you.  I challenge you to come up with 24 words.  The more evocative the better.  Post that list somewhere you can see it every day.

Then, look each word up in the dictionary, even go so far as to look up synonyms in the Thesaurus.  And really think about the meaning of those words.  Next, carve out some time in your day each day to think about those words in relation to yourself.  What’s true about those words in relation to you?  Notice where those words reside in you?

If you’re like me, and you are inspired by visual cues, then visit http://www.wordle.net/, click on Create your own and enter in your words.  You’ll want to repeat them several times and vary the repetitions giving more repetition to words that have huge impact for you.  The application will create word art for you using your words.  Here’s an example of one I did.  Go ahead, have fun!